I have been thinking about the subject of fatherhood and fatherlessness for most of my life but particularly in the process of writing my book “Good Bad No Dad?” which was published in April.
The book led me to reflect deeply on my own experience of fatherlessness. Many of those reflections have been painful but some have helped me to lean in closer to my experience of knowing God as my heavenly Father.
This of course does not eradicate all the scars or replace all the missing relational wiring that is caused by fatherlessness, but it does provide me with a centre and a foundation for a relationship with God and others.
When Jonathan Edwards was dying at the age of 54 his final words for his eleven children were:
“As to my children, you are now to be left fatherless, which I hope will be an inducement to you all to seek a father who will never fail you.”
I have been thinking about this recently in preaching from James chapter 1 about what God is like. James points us to the constancy of God the Father:
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”
This is an antidote to the nightmare of fatherlessness.
Those with absent or abusive fathers simply do not know where they are with their fathers.
One minute they are there and then they are gone. One moment they are generous and then they are cruel. That rollercoaster ride of contrasting experiences and emotions is exhausting. Father God is different.
‘Think about what is true about God himself. He is the generous giver, the “Father of Lights’. Everything that truly lights up the world is a gift from him; but whereas the sun, moon and the stars all come and go in their shining, God’s light is constant.’ (Tom Wright)
One of my hopes in writing the book was that it would start a conversation that would help individual Christians and churches to put the issue of fatherlessness higher on their agenda. This might mean including the subject in their preaching, recognising some of the walking wounded in their congregations and equipping people to serve as positive role models of what authentic men, husbands and fathers look like. There is no shortage of negative role models out there; there is a great need to tell a better story.
One of the opportunities that has arisen for me is a free online seminar on Fatherless that has been organised by my publishers, Grace Publications.
There are still spaces available on our Zoom seminar with John Woods on the theme of ‘Addressing the Father Deficit’ taking place on 22nd September at 7pm (UK time).
The event is running free of charge and will last for one hour. Please email to register.
It would be lovely to see some of you at the seminar. Do register soon to book a place.